1)Write a brief story sharing what you would like your death to be like if you could choose. Where would you want to be? Would you want anyone there with you? Maybe describe how you are feeling about your exit from this physical world. Get creative with it, let your imagination run wild! Take a little extra time to give specific details of your choice… and/or: 2) Create your own special obituary. You could share what has been important to you throughout life, maybe include any accomplishments, or perhaps add comments that others have made about you. How do you believe you will be cherished and honored?
Would you include pictures, would you want flowers & music? Give it ur best shot. Please hold this exercise very lightly. Just be with the process & be playful.
I know I would want people there if I was conscious of the fact that I would die. Ideally, I think most would like to die in their sleep, but I do not know if I want to miss out on the last moments I have with my family and friends. Even though my Mother’s death was hard on us all, unexpected and so sudden, that was best for her! Living life to the fullest, there with her spouse, and not under the sense of dread of death. I would want to be with my husband and children, feeling their love. At home, not traveling or in some inconvenient place. Not in a hospital. If I was inside, I would want a view to the beautiful outdoors. Thinking about the actual time and place is very difficult; thinking about afterwards seems much easier; is that because we do not want to think about it at all?
I read an article about a man that was able to plan all the aspects of his death and after-death. It was one of the most beautiful stories I have ever heard. He was surrounded by his family and they were able to follow through with all of his wishes. It was an old-world death and funeral; he was at home, and wasn’t pumped through with chemicals; nor did he contribute to pollution through cremation. He didn’t have a coffin, using up resources to serve nothing. His family simply buried him in a shroud. I admire that; his wishes and his families dedication to them.
In an imaginary world, I would want a viking or celtic type burial – to be placed on a wooden boat filled with flowers/greenery and filled with lit candles; a service by a lake that would end with my loved ones pushing me off to float away and burn, then to sink into the water.
Knowing the sheer impossibility of that, I would like the simple wicker/papyrus coffin that they have at Ertel’s, along with cremation. NO chemicals. Therefore, no viewing. A celebration of life with people that I love and that love me back – fun music [that could take a while to think through], and no cut flowers, please! A plant that everyone could take home and think about as they water it could be nice. A slideshow of me with everyone, doing things I love.I know that to ask for happiness instead of sadness would be difficult, but to have some laughs along with favorite stories would be so wonderful.
If my family wants a gravestone, that would be acceptable, put a few of my ashes in the ground, okay. Throw me from the Rimrocks – to fly free and rejoin the cycle of life in the soil. The rest in the Mancos River off Mesa, near the library, to meander without stopping til I reach the ocean to join the waters of the world.